The Second Sexual Awakening
Discovering Our Sexual Self One More Time
When most hear the phrase “sexual awakening”, they think of the first time in someone’s life where they experience sexual arousal or the desire to be physically intimate with another. And even though this view about sexual awakening is correct it doesn’t convey what awakening actually means in the context of human sexuality. Discovering your sexual self is a normal and exciting experience that can occur at any time and at any age. We are never too old to reinvent our sexual selfs 🖤
Most people experience their first sexual awakening during early adolescence, between 10-14 years old, but really can happen at any age and is often a significant part of an individual's journey toward understanding their own self identification. And even though at that age most of the “education” that is given comes from movies, porn, mainstream media or parents, school and community telling not to ask or worse, to feel shame for even having such thoughts, for the time people reach adulthood they suspect that sex it’s way more than sexual acts, includes sexuality. It encompasses our values, attitudes, feelings, interactions, and behaviors around the concept of sex.
“Essential to our perspective is the assumption that with the beginnings of adolescence and with the increasing acknowledgement by the surrounding social world of an individual's sexual capacity, many novel factors come into play, and an overemphasis upon a search for continuity with infant and childhood experiences may be dangerously misleading. In particular, it may be a costly mistake to be overimpressed with preadolescent behaviors that appear to be manifestly sexual. In general, it is possible that much of the power of sexuality may be a function of the fact that it has been defined as powerful or dangerous. But this overenriched conception of sexual behavior (to the degree that it is possessed by any individual) must largely follow upon considerable training in an adult language that includes an overdetermined conception of sexuality. Thus it does not necessarily follow that the untrained infant or child will respond as powerfully or as complexly to his own seemingly sexual behaviors as an adult observer”.
Gagnon & Simon; Sexual Conduct | 1973
Understanding this is key to comprehend what actually sexual awakening is [according to me, of course] because it is not just that we are becoming aware of sex, but that our attitudes, feelings, and values around sex are beginning to shape themselves. Acknowledging that our sex view it’s shaped within a [very often negative] collective it’s part of the second awakening. So what exactly is sexual awakenings at this age? Simple, recognize our internal and social negative narratives/scripts and work toward burning that shit. Is it easy? Hell no! Is it worth it? HELL YES!.
Key Aspects of Sexual Awakening
Self-Discovery
- Awareness of one’s own sexual desires.
- Understanding one's sexual orientation.
- Deeper understanding of gender identity.
Cultural and Societal Influences
- Awareness of media and culture influence.
- Delimit what comes from outside and what comes from inside in order to deconstruct negative narratives/scripts.
Emotional and Psychological Growth
- Realizing the importance of emotional intimacy and connection in sexual relationships.
- Developing a positive attitude towards one's and other’s body and its sexual functions.
- Breaking free from cultural taboos that may have previously restricted one's understanding or expression of sexuality.
Exploration and Experimentation
- Exploring new different types of sexual activities, fantasies and why not even new relational types to understand what you enjoy.
- Learning whether through books, workshops, or conversations with trusted individuals, to gain a better understanding.
Acknowledging Human Complexity
- Learning to communicate openly and honestly with sexual partners about desires, boundaries, and preferences.
- Understanding and practicing the principles of consent.
- Introduce abstract concepts like ethics and mental health in your sexual vocabulary.
The Impact of Sexual Awakening
So, you thought your first sexual awakening was the big "aha" moment, huh? That teenage rush of hormones and curiosity about what your body could do, cue the awkward fumbling and questionable choices. But guess what? There's a sequel, and it’s way more exciting than the original. Enter: the second sexual awakening, where you realize there’s a whole world beyond the one you know. Think of it as a spicy plot twist in the story of your libido.
This time around, it’s not about figuring out the basics, thogh. It’s about finding out what truly lights your fire, breaking free from old norms, and maybe even discovering kinks you didn’t even know existed. The impacts? Oh, honey, they’re big. We are talking about a renewed sense of empowerment, deeper connections, and yes, mind-blowing pleasure. So go ahead, explore, and embrace this bonus round. After all, life’s too short for one awakening when you could have two . . .or three.
Now, I don't want to talk about the fun and hide the ugly, I have a full disclore policy, so here's what you can expect from this second round.
Positive Outcomes
- Increased Self-Confidence.
- Strengthening or discovery of one's own self.
- Improved Relationships.
- Enhanced Pleasure.
Challanges
- Navigating Changes.
- Fear to the unknown.
- Social and cultural Barriers.
- Feeling like a pariah.
Sexual awakening is a deeply personal journey of discovering and understanding one's sexual self. While the path to sexual awakening can be filled with challenges, it ultimately leads to greater self-awareness, confidence, fulfillment in one's sexual and emotional life and THE FUCK OF A LIFE TIME!
Stay safe, keep it sane, make it consensual and have fun with it!
See you on the next one 🜉