Female bottoms; Dumping the submissive Trope
Female bottoms Dumping the “submissive” Trope “Standard mythology would have you believe that a bottom is a passive, disempowered, self-destructive, needy, whining wimp. We hope you will refrain from believing these things about yourself. We suggest that you see yourself as a full-power bottom” – The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W.…
Service; A Lost Skill
Service A Lost Skill Unpopular opinion, service oriented submission is a fallacy. Now, before you lose your marbles and start screaming at your scream, let Me/me explain. Is my belief that if you identify as a submissive, you inherently should like to serve, after all, what’s a submissive if not a people pleaser, isn’t? Yet,…
Power Exchange; Unpacking the Essence of Giving and Receiving Control
Power Exchange Unpacking the Essence of Giving and Receiving Control “To fall at the feet of an imperious mistress, obey her mandates, or implore pardon, were for me the most exquisite enjoyments…” – JEAN-JACQUES ROUSSEAU | 1765 Yes, one of the most influential minds of the Siècle des Lumières [Age of Enlightenment] was a very…
Beyond the Thrill: How Mindful Kink Deepens Connection
Beyond the Thrill How Mindful Kink Deepens Connection Welcome to the wonderful world of mindful kink, where every “oh” and “ouch” is paired with intention and self-awareness! Sure, BDSM and kink can be thrilling, intense, and just a little chaotic, but when you add a dash of mindfulness that’s when the real magic happens. Think…
BDSMK Ethical Frameworks; Beyond a Conduct Code
BDSMK Ethical Frameworks Beyond a Conduct Code SSC, SSICK, RACK, PRICK, CCC, CORE, CCCC, GGG, BARK, SEAF; and who knows how many others are out there. This community [BDSMK community] is fascinated by acronyms. But these ones are very important, they are BDSMK ethical framework [aka conduct code]. I disagree with that definition though [of…
Female Tops; Not Just Dommes
Female Tops Not Just Dommes As always, nuances are important when it comes to giving meaning to words, especially the words we use to identify ourselves and others. For many years I was unable to grasp the importance of differentiating between Top and Dominant. You may ask: “why it’s having clarity about roles important?”. Well,…
Finding a NON Professional Domme; The Utopia of Receiving Without Giving
Finding a NON Professional Domme The Utopia of Receiving Without Giving This one it’s DEEPLY personal, so I might be a little bit more . . . cheeky[?] Let’s make this VERY AND ABUNDANTLY clear. . . Tributes it’s not about buying love, darling, it’s about showing fucking respect! Let’s set the record straight…
The Second Sexual Awakening; Discovering Our Sexual Self One More Time
The Second Sexual Awakening Discovering Our Sexual Self One More Time When most hear the phrase “sexual awakening”, they think of the first time in someone’s life where they experience sexual arousal or the desire to be physically intimate with another. And even though this view about sexual awakening is correct it doesn’t convey what…
The Drop; The Aftermath of a Wild Party
The Drop The Aftermath of a Wild Party The drop, that moment when the high fades and reality hits. . . HARD [like a canne]. Ah, the drop. No, I’m not talking about a dance move, a new album release, or a catchy DJ beat. In the BDSMK world, “the drop” is that inevitable moment when…
Safe & Sane; A Critical No So Popular View
Safe & Sane A Critical No So Popular View First law: you may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. If you are a sci-fi fan like I am, you recognize this law. Asimov laws, or The Three Laws of Robotic. Yeah, I know, a…
